March 1, 2004

• "The Passion of the Christ"---Violently powerful.

  Graphic.  Bloody. Totally graphic and bloody.  There were moments when my heart totally ached, and my sister as well said she had this sick feeling in her stomach.  The tears I cried primarily consisted of anger and sadness and then a nonstop flow in between.  I'd cry tears of immense anger, then sadness, then back to anger, and then again to sadness.  It kept shifting from one to the other, and I didn't even have room to cry tears of happiness when he rose at the end, even though the scene itself, though only a minute or two in length, was very beautiful.  But it was the gore and blood that we all had to witness moreso than anything else.  Sometimes I didn't even know HOW to feel.  It was just so unbelievably real.  You sit there watching it happen before your eyes on that big screen and you KNOW that it's not real...you KNOW that it's just a movie depicting the events leading up to Christ's death...you KNOW that those people aren't really tearing off the flesh from his bones with weapons so sickening, it makes me ashamed to be a human...you KNOW that they aren't really finding the act they are committing hilariously funny, watching an innocent man crumple to the dirt because his body's being beaten to a barely recognizable bloody pulp and he can no longer utilize the full use of his muscles, but despite your knowing that it's all just "fantastically" designed movie-makeup, the image of it all still cuts so deep into your heart, and everything about it is still so very real...still feels like he's really there, getting beaten without mercy for YOUR sake and you can't do a thing about it except weep and wonder why he WOULD go through such an ordeal when he didn't even have to.  I don't care what kind of person you are, whether or not you believed it all actually happened, or WHATEVER....if you're sitting there watching such inhumane torture on the big screen, it WILL stir you up inside.  Stir you to anger, or hate, or sadness, or whatever else...there's just no way on God's green earth that you can't be affected by it, unless you're a direct descendent of a robot family without feelings. Even the crowning of the the vine of thorns upon his skull was gruesome, and I think that I can honestly say that it wasn't necessary to have the soldier use a pole to purposely bore the thorn deep into his skull.  He practically shoved it against his flesh, and blood just flowed out.   

  I got so overwhelmed by the excessive amounts of beatings I was witnessing, that I was more than once tempted to scream out loud, "JUST STOP IT ALREADY!! LEAVE HIM ALONE!"  When the movie first started, I was already afraid for him.  Jim's acting was superb...he really brought out the fear that Jesus must have been feeling when he knew of his fate.  I was so nervous throughout the whole thing leading up to the first graphic beatings.  I wasn't sure if I was even ready to see it all.  But I wanted to muster up the courage, and I thought, "Yes, I can handle this.  It's probably not going to be as gory as people claim."  Boy was I ever wrong.  The scene that yanked out my first tears was during those first lashings, namely with that horrific "clinging" weapon, and I just did NOT want to see the result of that when it grabbed his side.  I looked away very quickly, covered my eyes....I couldn't take it.  I didn't stay looking away for long, but when I looked back, that's when I started to cry.  Those stupid soldiers just DIDN'T stop, and I was getting so pissed off.  It was just so painful to watch.  And that was only the first major, gruesome scene.  After witnessing that, I was so afraid of what was to come.  I thought, "Oh my God, that scene was totally violent enough...please tell me it's toned down from here on out."  Well, in my opinion, it pretty much DID tone down, but only a BIT.  It was hard to look at him during the rest of the movie, to look at all those bloody wounds.  It just hurt me all over.  Right when I think it's over, I remember that there's still the nail scene, and the stabbing of his side scene when he was already on the cross.  Ughhh...the nails.  That was just....just...ow.  And ugh, when that stupid soldier was yanking his arm completely out of the socket so it can reach the hold on the cross, I was just so engraged.  I was like what WILL they think of next to torture him?  How in the heck is he supposed to carry that cross if you keep wipping him all the time?!?! Blah, I was just so mad.  And then when they turned the cross upside down...EVERYONE in the theater just gasped and groaned.  I just wanted them to leave him alone.  I was so anxious to have his pain be eased and rise up from his death with a glorified body already.  That was the only comfort I had....that he will live again.  And if there's one thing I didn't take note of before that I should have before watching this movie, it's the mother of Jesus, Mary.  My God she must have been torn up inside to watch her son be tortured maliciously like that.  There was this one scene, where she watches him fall to his knees with the cross heavy on his back, and she flashbacks when he fell down as a child.  In the flashback, she ran to his aid, and of course, in the present, she ached to do the same.  She saw him collapse in front of her, and all she wanted to do was protect him, which she simply couldn't do.  She ran to him, telling him that she's there, but she still knew deep down that he had to endure all of this turmoil, and she couldn't prevent it.  She had no power, but she still wanted to be a mother.  God, that must have been so hard for her.  Even my dad said that he's got so much more repect for Mary for staying by his side the entire time.  That was brilliant on Gibson's part to pay close mind to her feelings. 

  It's hard to believe that a human being would willingly do that to a man, to just shred him up and not feel bad about doing it.  Demons were obviously in control, or so I HOPE they were, because I don't want to believe that people nowadays have a willing capability to be so cruel to someone so innocent.  I was left ashamed.  I was even ashamed of myself.  During many parts of the movie, I thought to myself, "Oh God, he's going through all of that for ME.  This is all MY fault."  And it is.  Humanity is to blame for what Christ went through, not just Jews, or just Romans or whoever else.  EVERYONE is responsible. Sometimes I STILL don't know how it's possible for someone to love people as much as Christ did.  If you want to know love, THAT'S love.  Watch this movie, and THEN you'll know what true love really is.  Can you honestly say that you'll let yourself get bloodied up to the point of losing your life for your friend?  Seriously...think about that question for a moment after watching this movie.  I can honestly say that I can't see myself going through that for anyone.  I feel so bad for saying that, but I really don't think I can.  I can't see myself willing to go through that torture for anyone.  I wish I could, but I just can't.  That just shows how incapable I am of matching the love that Christ has for me and for everyone else in the world.  This movie made me angry. It was a great movie, but it still left me feeling so angry.  I just can't stand how anyone can bash God and everything He stands for even after the knowledge of what He did for our sake.  He took out all his anger caused by humanity on Jesus.  Jesus is God in human form, for those who didn't know.  He had to reveal himself to humanity as a human, since his devine essence is too much for a measly human to fully embrace.  He had to put himself in a form that all people would understand, had to...dare I say..."lower" himself to our level, which is human.  So Jesus was God's way of punishing HIMSELF for all of the sins that ran rampant in the race of humanity, HIS creation, but yet He STILL didn't want to give up on us, and He still loves us just the same. So he let Jesus do the suffering FOR us.  God is love, and watching this movie, though incredibly difficult, helped remind me of just how great He really is.  His wrath was taken out on the purest of people, the most innocent of people in the most cruel of ways, and I'm even more thankful that I'm a part of His world. 

  The depiction of Satan in this film was excellent.  He had this very elegant, yet scary vibe about him.  The look of the character was both beautiful and eery, like the mermaids in the live action movie of "Peter Pan."  You know he's dangerous...you suspect it.  But something about him still wants to captivate you, and you WILL be captivated if you don't stand your ground.  The look of him was subtle, yet still so effective. He was so "gentle"...like he could seduce anyone, and that's his job.  To seduce weary souls to what HE wants them to do.  He constantly picks on people when they're at their weakest, filling they're heads with what's easiest to believe, which is usually the direct opposite of what a person SHOULD be believing with the help of faith.  When he was picking on Jesus in the garden at the beginning of the movie, it was so real.  He just tried to weaken him with thoughts of fear, and that's his greatest weapon...FEAR.  It was just a great depiction of evil I think.  Even the little demons in the forms of children were interesting.  Freaky, but interesting.  Ohhh...and that demon in the cave wall that sparked the harrassment of Judas that inevitably led him to his death was....wow.  I never want to see anything like that in my life.  EVER.   

  In conclusion, "The Passion of the Christ" is one excellent movie, despite it's unbelievably gruesome scenes.  But alas, sometimes that's exactly what it takes to get people to understand.  No more sugar coating.  I don't know if I'll be able to see it again, however.  If I had to, then I'll probably just close my eyes.  I don't even know if I'll get it on DVD.  *sigh* But...time will tell.  They aren't joking when they say this movie is violent. It really is violent, and I'm hoping the handful of CHILDREN in my theater aren't permanently traumatized by what they witnessed. 

  • 3:09 am
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