July 4, 2007

• Trans-freaking-FORMERS!

  There's not really any major spoilers, but read with caution anyway.

  It will be one I'll see a few more times, I'm sure.  I definitely want to see it again during the weekend with a more crowded theater, like a SATURDAY NIGHT LATE SHOW with a hell of a lot more people who are totally ready to get more into the film than the boring-ass crowd we had.  Granted, my showtime was 6:05 p.m. which is the first evening show and not as popular as later shows, expecially on a weekday, but come on...opening day? And not even a crowded theater?  It just wasn't one that packed tons of people like I expected.  It seemed to have been totally lacking in Transformer geeks and was overloaded with CHILDREN who shouldn't even know of the existence of Transformers, and old people who didn't seem to care either way. Where's MY generation, dammit? Where's all the fellow 25 to 30 year olds who really give a crap about Transformers?  Though I believe my audience enjoyed themselves, they surely weren't too expressive about it.  I mean, this is TRANSFORMERS!  You need to get into it!  REACT to the scenes for crap's sake!  I'm not even a fan of the original Transformers and even I knew to get excited from this!  There was plenty of laughter, no doubt, but no real "ooohs" or "ahhhs" in reaction the freakingly awesome action there was.  Seemed to have just been me, my sister, and my friend reacting to the stuff.  My sister had her shares of "oohs!" and I had my shares of "YES!" and "freaking awesome!" and my friend had his shares of DAMN! and "This is off the CHAIN!"  So yes, I need to see this film with a much more engaging audience and not such duds. 

  Either way, THIS is the summer blockbuster I was freaking waiting for.  Entertainment-wise and action-wise, it was way better than Pirates and Fantastic Four, (even though I still loved the both of them), but it absolutely OBLITERATED the repulsive odor that emanated from that over-hyped Spidercrap that stunk up the place two months ago.  But it's not like THAT was too difficult to achieve.  Sure, there are definitely worse movies than Spiderman 3, and I'll probably still end up getting it on dvd just for the sake of completing the failed franchise, but this year in comparison to all the others?  It's a turd of a movie.  A turd that needs a good flushing to the depths of the nastiest sewer with all the other turds.  I've read a few negative reviews about Transformers, some of which have very good points that I can agree with, but the action-starved movie-goer in me was perfectly willing to accept just mindless action, even it it IS all over the place.  Yah, some scenes were a little hard to follow, but you really just don't care sometimes cuz it's freaking robots beating the hell out of each other and being slick as hell doing it.  And I promise you, you're gonna wish you had your own Transformer...a REAL one. I had no idea that's all they do is scan things to Transform into them, ANYTHING that's electrical.  Is that a concept from the 'toons?  Either way....cooool. One day I could be driving my Matrix, and the next day I'll drive my Tiburon.  Can you imagine? Well, probably not, but....oh well...let the child in me who was starved of Transformers have a little fun here, won't you?

  The Autobots were cool, the Decepticons cooler.  Especially Starscream the Jet, who I predicted would be my favorite just by the movie trailers.  My predictions came true, and he was definitely my favorite Decepticon, probably because I already love watching jets in movies.  And to have a jet that transforms into a robot in MID-FREAKING-AIR to shoot at other jets before transforming back to a jet again was a thing of great beauty.  He was awesome and I wish they had more of him in the film. He was a little underused, even though the scenes he WAS in were jaw-dropping.  I would have been just as ticked off as I was with Darth Maul at his underuse for the movie, but since he didn't die and was the main "trigger" for a sequel, I'll accept it.  He has plenty more opportunity to leave me in awe. Megatron was awesome too. So EVIL! And so disgusted with humanity, like people are towards insects!  I love it.  As I said, though, the Autobots were still cool in their own right.  I loved Prime and Bumblebee, even though I was so ready to love the others if there was more screen time with them doing what they do best.  Ratchet didn't do any medical things for his conrades, which was a little sad.  Of course the fight scenes between ALL the 'bots were just....you can't even find the words.  But you can't take your eyes off the screen either. It's like hypnotic.  And I KNOW I missed plenty of things, but a second or third viewing will get rid of that problem plenty quick.

  I know this isn't really a proper review, but I just don't care.  Plus, I still have to fully grasp the adventure I just had, even if it'll take several more viewings. I had fun. Freaking fun.  Too much fun that even the blatantly obvious flaws and the ever-present annoyances, (like the overly long scene with Sam's parents and his hunt for the glasses, or ALL the scenes involving that Sector 7 guy who so totally got on my nerves rather effortlessly, in which I was glad Bumblebee chose to uh..."lubricate" him without thinking twice lol), simply cannot compare.  It'd be silly of me to see a Transformer movie and focus more on the non-Transformer parts. I'll just watch, enjoy, and look forward to more Transformers. And did I mention the freaking music score?  Wow that was just as awesome as the bots.  Really sucked you into the movie, that music. Really powerful, but not in-your-face-to-distract-you powerful.  The tension can really build for a scene just because of the music you hear. Amazing.  I love movie scores like that.  Bring on the sequel!!  And SOON!

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